With Flying Colors

My parents, Annie and Rob (both a little bleary eyed from pre-celebration of my accomplishments) took me to my doggie-day-care interview yesterday morning. I opened the meeting by taking a leak on some of the toys in the room. When Rob turned to the interviewer to apologize she simply said "Don't get mad, but your dog is taking a dump"...Apparently I forgot some of the more important "soft skills" needed in a successful interview.

Despite my initial performance demostrating that I am both a Type 1 and Type 2 personality (although not from the Peircian Personality scale) I passed! Tomorrow is my full day phase-2 check. Wish me luck!

MIA

Dear Guinheads,

I apologize for my absence. I was on a brief, inter-planetary, sabatical, enjoying my incognito existence until just yesterday NASA comes and spots me. Anderson Cooper was nice enough to plaster my face all over! Watch Video

I haven't had great internet access here on Mars, so my blogging capabilities have been a bit limited. However,the endless leg-lifting opportunities have kept me very busy! I'll be sure to write more when I return home.

Merry (Almost) Guinmas

Well, it's almost the big day, and as some people may or may not know, all animals can speak for the first minute of Guinmas. The boys (and girl) and I have been working on what we might be saying for that very precious minute.

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1523798641

Say Hello To My "Little" Guin

Well, mom and dad did it again and left me alone for what was actually only 5 min. but felt like an eternity...a glorious eternity in front of an all-you-can-eat-dog-food-bag-on-the-floor buffet.

In that short period of time I consumed so much Science Diet that I believe I moved its stock price up. My belly became so bloated that it eventually was the stopping force...not because it was full, but it was too difficult to lift my body up to inhale the doggie chow.

In looking back on the event, I can't help thinking that I was a little like Al Pacino from Scar face...twisted in a maniacal rampage with one driving force. And there's me saying "Say hello to my little friend" except instead of "little" I mean "big", and instead of "friend" I mean "diarrhea".

Road Trip 2007

I had the most chance encounter this past weekend. I ran into a little buddy of mine who was on the doggy limo (pictured) that came up from Arkansas. At first I barely recognized Sadie because when she came up she was just a little tike no older than a month or two. But the memories...

• Remember the time we were on the turnpike and convinced the driver to stop at the McDonalds drive-thru and we all ordered 1 French fry each?
• Remember how we learned that our driver was actually Santa in the off-season.
• Remember when I got worms?
• Remember when I gave them to Sadie?

Such good times! I highly recommend taking a road-trip across the US...preferably with 20 Boston Terriers.

Guinness Steals Hearts

Time for me to hire some body-guards!

Man faces court after Guinness theft

Dr. Schu Explains Planetary Composition

Dr. Schubert Mackenzie, astro-geological professor hailing from Princeton University, recently announced that, contrary to modern beliefs that the Earth's core was predominantly molten rock, the earth is actually Himalayan Persian. I had the unique opportunity to discuss the recent findings with "Dr. Schu" (as he's known by the graduate students) and get more insight:

Guinness: What have you based your findings on?


Schubert: [yawn]...


Guinness: Very interesting. I think I would have come to similiar conclus[yawn->sleep->snore]





In that riveting conversation with Dr. Schubert, I did discover that the recent findings do not override the current data indicating that, while the center of the Earth may be Himalayan Persian, the center of the our solar system is still Boston Terrier.